


Signs

by anniespinkhouse



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, Crack, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 19:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anniespinkhouse/pseuds/anniespinkhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a prompt on the 'Enchantment Gone Wrong' meme over at j2_crack :- When grouchy neighbor Jensen put up the 'No Swimming' sign on the pond on his property, new neighbor Jared didn't see any harm in sneaking a skinny dip in the moonlight. But then his feet hit the water and everything changed. Art is by dragynville (LJ) to fill the same prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Signs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meus_venator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meus_venator/gifts).



> Thanks for the prompt to meus_venator. This links back to this meme, j2-crack.livejournal.com/14789.html , where there are other great prompts and fills  
> The gorgeous banner is by dragynville ( dragynville@livejournal.com)  
> Thanks to linvro2 for the quick beta. All mistakes remain my own.  
> Disclaimer: This is fiction, pure fantasy folks. Nobody here belongs to me and they’re not likely to get in my van for candy any time soon.

 

__

_Keep off The Grass, Beware of The Dog, No Entry._ There were some people for whom such signs were solid, sensible deterrents. And then there was Jared.  
  
_Tie your laces_ , his ma would say, just minutes before he tripped and fell, because he hadn't.  
_No running,_ the school notices said in big red letters, right next to the place where he ran into Mrs. Headley, the principal, and knocked her to the floor.  
_No Parking,_ was boldly displayed on a post next to Jared's first car when the tow truck took it away.  
  
“ _Life is for living_ ,” Jared would exclaim, every time something went wrong because he hadn't had time to read a sign, or take advice, and since Jared bounced and smiled a lot, people laughed with him at his latest disaster. Everyone loved Jared, so even when he took a wrong turn, and drove the wrong way up Main Street, the cop on duty didn't have the heart to give him a ticket.  
  
Of course, it was all bound to end in disaster one day, and Jared met his nemesis the day he moved into 111, Acacia Avenue ( _No Through Road. Please Drive Carefully. No Motorbikes. Keep Dogs on a Leash. No Hawkers or Canvassers_ ).  
  
He arrived on his new Yamaha 750cc bike, and roared to his door, kicking up gravel as he skidded to a halt. As he took off his black helmet, with the glittery 'Fairydust' logo, he thought he saw a flash of soft brown hair and green eyes peering over the fence of 112, Acacia Avenue, but when he looked again, he couldn't see anybody. It was a pity, because they were nice green eyes.

He set about unpacking, and when he heard a knock at the door, he yelled “Coming!” but took a few minutes to get there. When he opened his door, nobody was there. There was a slip of paper on the mat, with a scrawled message, **_NO MOTORCYCLES. DRIVE CAREFULLY,_** with something that looked like a signature; _jackles._  
  
Jared crumpled the note up and put it in the bin. Obviously the rule couldn't apply to him, because he lived here, and his bike was how he traveled about, to work.  
  
The next day, his mother called around and brought his dog, Harley, with her, who she had cared for during Jared's move. Harley was excited by all the new smells in the garden. He barked madly, chased his tail, and somehow found a way through the fence to 112, Acacia Avenue. Jared, who was distracted, talking to his mother about curtains, didn't notice his escape, until he heard a yelp and a yip, and a loud, growling shout: “GET OUT! GET OUT! YOU STUPID HOUND!” Harley came running back into Jared's garden, with wide eyes, and his tail between his legs, closely followed by a flying shoe of brown suede.  
  
“Sorry,” yelled Jared, as friendly as he could manage, because after all, the neighbor had just thrown an object at his dog, and that was rather mean. He tried to catch a glimpse of the neighbor, but all he saw was a fairly tall man with bow legs, scuttling back into his house.  
  
The next day, there was another note through his door. **_Keep Dogs On A Leash_** _-_ Signed _jackles_.  
  
Jared sighed. Jack Les was proving to be rather a grumpy neighbor. Jared wasn't used to anybody disliking him. He decided that it was time to take action. He baked cookies, wrapped them in bright paper, and tied them with a ribbon. He hopped over the fence, as a short cut, avoiding the _No Entry_ sign at the main gate of 112, and tripped on the _Please Keep Off The Grass_ notice as he crossed the lawn.  
  
Jack's doorbell made a deep, loud clang and footsteps seemed to echo as they approached the door. Jared could have sworn that he heard heavy steps on the path behind him, and a chuckle. He looked around, but there was nothing there. It made him uneasy. The door creaked as it opened a fraction to the dark lobby beyond. It reminded Jared of a B horror movie – the sort where the innocent caller either gets killed in the first five minutes, or captured and tortured for the duration.  
  
“ _No Hawkers. No canvassers. No religious groups. No entry_. _Keep Off The Lawn. No Swimming_ ,” was recited rapidly, in a sexy Texas drawl.

Jared was captivated by the voice, and then by the face that peered through the gap in the door. It was a handsome, symmetrical face with a strong jawline. Deep green eyes peered from behind round wire glasses, and there were the cutest freckles over the man's nose.  
  
Jared was so entranced by the face, that he failed to notice the elegant hand that slammed the door closed. “Hey! No... I'm not! I'm Jared, I'm your new neighbor.” Jared rang the bell again, and waited for a few minutes, but Jack didn't come back. Jared wrote a note of introduction, tucked it in with the cookies and left them on the doorstep. Jack was going to be tough to win over, but the man seemed lonely, and unhappy (and hot), so he wasn't going to give in easily. Everyone needed a friend.  
  
Jared readied himself to get back to his work the next day, but he didn't stop puzzling over the ways in which he might win his neighbor over. _Invite him for a glass of wine_ , he thought, as he packed salt and blessed water into his backpack. No, he might be teetotal. _Coffee, then_ , but perhaps he didn't take caffeine, he seemed the sort who might not. He couldn't offer a pillion ride, that was for sure. Dammit, why did the man have to be so _grrr_ strait laced and uptight! He dropped a heavy iron knife with a loud clatter, and there seemed to be a rustle and whine from just beyond the fence. Jared narrowed his eyes and crept to peer over the top, but all he could see was his neighbor, at the far end of his garden, erecting a new sign of some sort.  
  
**_SIGNS!_** _No this, no that, keep off, keep out._ They drove Jared crazy. Why? Why did he have to move in next to some sort of crazy (hot) sign fanatic. It made him just _itch_ to disregard the instructions on them. He hadn't got any closer to a plan for befriending Jack by the time he went to bed, and it bothered him.  
  
At some point during the night, Harley woke Jared with a whimper, scratching frantically at the door, and begging to go out. _Great._ It was a warm night, bathed in moonlight, and just when Harley dashed into the garden with an eager snuffle, there was the bright flash of a reflection beyond the wall. Jared was curious. He padded over soft, dry grass to peer over the wall at the very end of the garden. There, in the grounds of 112, was the most enchanting and perfectly quiet, still pond. It was hauntingly lit by moonlight and surrounded by fragrant flowers, with a decorative stone bridge spanning it's width – and there, at the edge of it, was a shiny new sign. **No Swimming.**  
  
Ha! That was it! Jared couldn't hold his mischief back. He would show Mr.Jack _Uptight_ Les, what such a clear, beautiful pond was ideal for. What could be the harm? He leaped over the wall, tucked his fingers into the waistband of his pajama trousers, and stripped. He was going skinny dipping.  
  
He dipped a toe in, and the water was deliciously warm. He put the other foot in and everything changed. The water swirled and a frog jumped on a lily pad next to him. “Tr o o o ll,” it croaked, repeatedly. Jared thought it was an odd call, but the frog leaped from lily pad to lily pad, in some sort of dance, and it made him laugh.  
  
From the corner of his eye, he saw a light blaze on the stoop of 112, Acacia Avenue. _To hell with it_ , he would show Jack how much fun life could be, if he ever relaxed.  
  
Jared waded in, up to his knees.  
  
“Stop! Get Out!” Jack was sprinting over the lawn, in nothing but boxer briefs, trying to balance his glasses on his nose. It was a _magnificent_ sight. “Get Out!” yelled Jack.  
  
“Tr o o o ll,” croaked the frog.  
  
“Dnn – ger, dnn-gr,” trilled some strange sort of cricket nearby.  
  
“Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh,” chirped a night-bird on the bridge. Jared was fascinated. So much wildlife!  
  
He waded in until he was waist deep in the refreshing clear water, and splashed his hand to make ripples which sparkled in the moonlight.  
  
Jack reached the pond in a breathless fluster and caught his breath, “You can't ….,” he panted, just as the ugliest troll Jared had ever seen, grabbed his leg and tried to pull him under.  
  
“Noooo,” wailed the resident of 112, Acacia Avenue. “Not again!”  
  
“Tr o o o ll,” croaked the frog.  
  
“Dnn – ger, Dnn-gr,” trilled the cricket.  
  
“Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh,” chirped the bird on the bridge.  
  
“OH! TROLL! That's why you had the signs! Well, why didn't you say!” Jared yelled cheerfully, as he battered at the troll's hold on him. “HARLEY! Fetch bag, Harley. Fetch!”  
  
Harley dashed away with his tail wagging.  
  
Suddenly, there was a splash next to Jared, and his neighbor was in the water next to him, whacking the troll with the wooden 'no swimming' sign. “Stop it you ugly, foul troll. Stop it. Not this time!” There was a thunderous growl from the troll. Jack disappeared, and a large goldfish swam frantically around Jared's knees. The sign floated on the surface of the water. Wood, thought Jared ruefully – useless.  
  
There was another threatening snarl from the troll, but Jared stood his ground, or rather, stood in his water, and a solid iron amulet around his neck glowed. “Oh, you don't like that, do you little troll?” The troll backed off slightly and splashed and kicked rocks in rage. Jared felt a tickle on the globe of his ass, as the goldfish wiggled its tail and fins, hiding behind him. He grinned. Jack was totally feeling him up.  
  
Harley jumped into the pond, wagging his tail and keeping Jared's bag out of the water, avoiding the troll's reach. He was a well trained dog, thought Jared proudly. He reached in to the waterproof black tote and snatched out a tube of sugar. He poured it onto a lily pad with a triumphant flourish. “Count that for me will you?” he smugly asked the troll, who slumped in defeat, making pathetic whining noises as it pawed at the grains.  
  
Three lines of Latin later, and the troll disappeared in a fog of smoke. Jared praised Harley with a vigorous stroke of his ears. “Good Boy!”  
  
“Oh! Oh! Sorry!”  
  
A large warm and muscular body was suddenly pressed naked into the back of Jared, and, oh my! It seemed _excited_ to be there, judging by the eager erection against his thigh.  
  
“Jack! Are you alright?”  
  
The man behind him jumped away in horror and four voices replied, “Who is Jack?”  
  
Jared startled and looked around him. “Well you are,” he replied to his neighbor. There was a giggle from nearby. Jared turned his head. He briefly raised an eyebrow at the naked and confused woman trying to hide on the tiny bridge, before focusing back on his neighbor's shiny, wet, and lickable body.  
  
“I'm not.”  
  
Yes, you're Jack Les, aren't you?” Jared frowned.  
  
“Ackles! J. Ackles. Jensen Ackles! Can't you read _anything_!” huffed not-Jack-but-Jensen.  
  
“Latin! I can read spells just fine,” declared Jared, proudly producing a stack of business cards from his waterproof bag, and handing them to the blond, blue-eyed ex-frog who was crushing lily pads in the shallows, the dark haired hippie who was crouched naked in the grass, and the shy lady on the bridge. “Jared Padalecki at your service, proprietor and chief... and, well, only… operative of Fairydust Pest Control. Banishing troublesome fae since 2010.” He gave a little bow and bounced on his toes in the water. It was always exciting when he was able to complete a job successfully, but in this instance the reward might be worth more than money.  
  
“Oh. Right. So, what do I owe you?” Jensen sounded disappointed.  
  
Jared gave a sly grin, “Well, it was a water troll, so according to lore, the enchanted person has to kiss me. That would be you right, Jensen?”  
  
Jensen nodded enthusiastically, crowded close to Jared's chest and pursed plump, pink lips, ready for Jared.  
  
“Ewww.” moaned ex-frog, grabbing a large lily leaf and placing it strategically, “I'm going to the house to find clothes. You coming Misha?”  
  
The ex-cricket-hippie nodded, and stood naked and unabashed, “Chad and I will come back with something for you to wear, Gen.” He strode toward the house, with his cock and balls swaying, while Chad minced beside him with his tiny leaf hiding his junk, best he could.  
  
Jensen took Jared by surprise and dived in for a kiss, the moment they were a few steps away. His lips slid against Jared's eagerly and his tongue pushed in, wet and insistent. Jared moaned and opened up for him, and they devoured each others' mouths until they were panting with need for air. When they broke apart Jared blushed, “Um, Jensen, there's something …,”  
  
“You were bullshitting me about the kiss weren't you?” Jensen asked.  
  
“Well …,”  
  
“I haven't had sex since 2009,” blurted Jensen, unexpectedly. “I refused to marry the troll and she enchanted me, to stay here, She wouldn't let anyone near, and if anyone visited, she cast a spell. Well, you saw my friends.” He waved his arms.  
  
Jensen continued, “So, a kiss, yeah, good, very good, and you're hot. I watched you. I was so worried for you. The troll didn't like loud noises or dogs … and did I say hot …. and I'm horny … did I mention that I haven't had anyone to talk to, or anything else, since 2009, and you're hot?”  
  
“Jensen?”  
  
“Really fucking sexy … and would it be very awkward if I asked you to stay and have sex, because y'know we're neighbors. Would that be very odd?”  
  
“Jensen!”  
  
Jensen shut up and looked wide eyed and horrified, at Jared. “I'm sorry, I can't believe I asked you. It's just … well fish-eye view, and you seemed keen, and did I mention I haven't had sex in a long time, and you're really fucking gorgeous, and you rescued me, so you should totally be my Prince?”  
  
Gen shuffled past while they were distracted, and made a run for the house.  
  
Jared leaned down, cupped Jensen's chin in his hands and kissed the words from him. When they stopped, he placed a finger on Jensen's lip and spoke.“Well, it's only swimming that's banned here. There isn't a single sign saying we can't have sex, so I think we'll be just fine.”   
  
Jensen gave a happy sigh. “The lawn is lovely and soft,” he mentioned, pulling Jared out of the water and into a sheltered spot lit only by the moon.

Harley chased through flowerbeds and over the grass, while Jared and Jensen fucked until the sun rose.  
  
Jared loved his job, and he particularly loved his new neighbor. He wondered if Jensen had any cookies left for breakfast _ **.**_

 

 

_**|end|** _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
